February 27, 2012

Why We Call Pigeons Rats With Wings

One day, a father rabbit and his son are in the forest having a lunch. A pigeon lands and asks for some food, at which point the father rabbit shoos the pigeon away and says “the pigeon is nothing more than a rat with wings.”

The son asks his dad why other animals always say that about the pigeon. And so the dad tells him this story. The pigeon had once been very influential in the animal kingdom, but some of the animals grew tired of his crazy leadership and threw him out of his influential office. The pigeon was then always on the periphery, causing chaos, but still wielding some influence. The pigeon even made some new friends out of those who used to oppose him.

Within the animal kingdom, there was another small group that could wield some influence as well. They were called the Conservation Club. The Conservation Club originally stood for the idea that any animal who worked hard should be able to enjoy the fruit of that hard work and believed the government of the Animal Kingdom should stay out of animals’ lives.

Over time, the Conservation Club started to change. The local chapter of the Club was taken over by rats – and everyone knows how filthy rats can be. These rats still talked about the Old Conservation Club principles, but they were really interested in making money and getting jobs and appointments for other rats – like the lead rat's girlfriend. They only used their principles when it suited them to cut another deal and make more money.

The pigeon had done many backroom deals with the rats and neither could be trusted.

Enter into the mix a surprise election where a Heroic Hare wins when nobody thought he could. This Hare was very green in political world, but tried to be principled whenever he could. 

One of the hot issues at time involved animals who chose to live a different type of lifestyle than others. The Lion, who ran the Kingdom, decided these animals, although making different choices, deserved to be treated fairly like other animals. The Lion needed the Heroic Hare’s vote to make that happen and after much soul-searching, the Heroic Hare agreed.

This really angered the rats in the Conservation Club. They were mad at the Heroic Hare for his vote and said they might not support him in his next election. This was strange because the Rats supported others who voted the same way – but that’s the way it is with the rats.

This is where our story gets strange. The pigeon was one of the animals who lived the alternative lifestyle that the Heroic Hare had help defend. Yet the pigeon now smelled opportunity to hurt the Hare in favor of an animal that the pigeon controlled – which is what we call a Pet. So the Pigeon got together with the Rats to back Pigeon’s Pet. Pigeon turned his back on all the animals with alternative lifestyle and stabbed his friends in the back. He wanted money and power like the rats, which is why we say the Pigeon is nothing more than a rat with wings.

The little hare nodded as all of this sunk in. As Father Rabbit hopped away for a second, the Pigeon landed again looking sad. The little hare hopped over, and he and the pigeon started laughing and talking. The little hare decided to share some lunch with the pigeon. Maybe his dad was wrong about the pigeon.

After they finished eating, the Pigeon flew away and from up above in the sky crapped all over the little hare. Father Hare hopped back and smiled.

“I was watching you over there and wanted you to learn for yourself. The pigeon will always crap all over his friends.”

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