July 28, 2010

Short Your Stocks.

I briefly considered titling today’s post “Sign of the Apocalypse No. 387” but thought that might be a bit melodramatic. There are plenty of significant items worth commenting on in the news today, and yet this headline from The Daily News keeps calling me back:
'Jersey Shore' cast rings opening bell amid crowd of fist-pumping fans at New York Stock Exchange
Look, I don’t mean to sound like a stick in the mud here, but really??? I would be totally dishonest if I suggested I’ve never seen Jersey Shore. Actually, I once sat through the better part of an episode. It was everything I feared it would be, and more. Two annoying creatures named “Snooki” and “The Situation” basically spent an hour reminding me of why I’ve never been fond of the so-called Garden State.
As someone who owns some mutual funds and a 401(k), honestly, I don’t take any comfort in this paragraph:
Traders on the increasingly quiet floor said it was one of the most crowded days in years as the deeply tanned cast of the MTV hit rang the bell and stayed to sign autographs amid a crush of onlookers and a flood of media.
I somehow found this sentence even less comforting:
Plenty of hedge fund managers watch the show, including Seabreeze Partners' Doug Kass, who has mentioned the show in his commentary on markets.
Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but if you’re investing my money, I want you to be more like “PC” in the “Mac and PC” commercials. You know: frumpy, dull, wearing a blue or grey suit. And I don’t want you to know who Snooki is.
Meanwhile, the next time the geniuses at the New York Stock Exchange decide to invite someone from New Jersey to ring the opening bell, may I suggest Chris Christie?

1 comment:

Paladin said...

Wasn't that a scene in "Idiocracy"?