June 10, 2010

This is Why Everyone Hates Boomers

The article in today’s Buffalo News longingly recalling the “Allentown Riots” is just another example of why Baby Boomers can’t die off fast enough.
That first sentence may sound a bit harsh, but let’s be very clear here: there is no honor in trashing a town and assaulting cops. That a drunken brawl is memorialized by that generation just proves how insipid Boomers are as a people.
I normally don’t tee off on an entire generation like this, but I’ve had it. I never bought into the whole “Greatest Generation” mystique, but at least the generation that fought World War II had worthwhile things to commemorate. You know, like D-Day. (Incidentally, it’s really pathetic that the Buffalo News devoted this much ink to commemorating a drunken brawl at a hippie art festival, but could only run four paragraphs from the Associated Press on the anniversary of arguably the most significant military battle in modern history. But I digress.) And yes, I know that members of my generation have engaged in reprehensible behavior as well. The difference is, we don’t name our bar brawls and celebrate their anniversaries. Only a generation whose symbol is Bill Clinton and whose time on earth has been otherwise meaningless would do something like that.
But back to the event that the Buffalo News thinks is worth commemorating: “Things got a little too big and out of hand, but then you mature and settle down,” Mary M. Myszkiewicz, the current Allentown Society president, told the Buffalo News.
That’s awesome. In other words, dirty hippies eventually learned the value of being investment bankers and mealy-mouthed yes-men and school administrators, and having money to spend on Volvos and BMWs and the art from their silly little festivals, so their disgusting mob riots became a moment to celebrate from their youth. Because eventually you mature and settle down.
Of course, the same nonsense that the Grooviest Generation saddles the rest of us with today prevailed after their little “Riot”: Allentown residents held public meetings to discuss the riot and the police action. When police Lt. Thomas F. Higgins, who 16 years later would become Erie County sheriff, walked into a June 15 meeting at Shaw Memorial Church, the crowd made it clear that he was unwelcome…More public meetings followed the one attended by Higgins — including a June 17 meeting that attracted nearly 350 people and at least one man who claimed to be a member of the Black Panther Party.
Yeah, good job, losers. Your parents liberated a continent and defeated fascism. You liberated your sexuality and called cops fascists.
I can’t wait to see the monuments you’ll build to yourselves when the Great Boomer Die-Off begins.
Scratch that. I can’t wait to see the Great Boomer Die-Off begin.

2 comments:

The Avenger said...

Who's pissed in your cheerios the last two mornings. You're becoming a grumpy old men with nothing clever or interesting to say....just spewing venom.

Rocketboy said...

Unfortunately, the horsesh** attitudes and sense of entitlement that the boomers helped instill into future generations won't die anytime soon.