January 5, 2008

Assembly To Hold Hearings From Pole-To-Pole

No, we're not talking about the North and South Poles. A bill that would license exotic dancers has been bumping and grinding its way ever so slowly through the legislative hopper in Albany - but the "sin-tax" in the measure may leave legislators poles apart.

The bill, sponsored by Brooklyn Assemblyman Felix Ortiz, would require strippers to register with the state and get special permits to perform in clubs. And real names - not Candy, Lolita or Miss Lollipop - would be required.

Dancers who can't whip out a permit - it's unclear if they would have to carry them, somewhere, at all times - would face fines of up to $20 for a first-time violation and $50 for further violations. Clubs that employ them would face even stiffer fines.

Ortiz (D-Sunset Park) introduced the bill in May, and it's been languishing ever since in the Assembly Economic Development Committee. Ortiz said he expects committee Chairman Robin Schimminger (D-Erie, Niagara) to schedule hearings sometime in February.

"We're now giving more detailed information to committee members to, if you will, get them more educated," said Ortiz, who, yes, has checked out such clubs "to see what my constituents were complaining about."

Now that's true constituent service. Taking the time from his busy schedule doing the people's work, Assemblyman Ortiz is willing to make the sacrifices necessary to address his constituent's concerns. Those long, hard hours spent in clubs certainly goes above and beyond the call of duty.
It's refreshing to know that our Democratic Assembly has their priorities in order. Never mind that state government has come to a virtual standstill over the past year due to the plague of idiocy that has invaded the governor's mansion. Never mind that the last four times the Senate has met, the Assembly hasn't even been in Albany.

Assembly Majority Leader Ron Canestrari counters, "It really makes no sense to return to Albany, spend the time and the money to get here, when there are no parameters of an agreement on the major issues."

That's great, Eliot, things have really improved under your watch. Way to bring consensus and cooperation to Albany. In the meantime, let's stay focused on our priorities - licensing pole dancers is right up there with job creation and tax reduction.
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Peggy A. said...

What a hypocrite Schimminger is. Instead of helping out those young women those pimps exploited, or helping legitimate small businesses, he's busy worrying about upscale strip clubs. Don't these elected officials get how fed up we are with their nonsense? Isn't there anyone who can help jump start our upstate economy?

Pete M said...

Come on, Peggy. It's obvious that Assemblyman Schimminger is doing his part to humpstart, er, jumpstart our economy.

Larry S said...

I can't wait for these hearings to begin. I can't imagine that a thorough analysis of the subject can be conducted without bringing in several dozen "dancers" to get their professional opinion on the duties and responsibilities of the position.

In fact, I think that the Assembly needs to bring in a pole for the girls to demonstate their wares, and lapdances should be conducted while "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks plays on the stereo.

To stem the tide of prostitution that is so pervasive in these clubs, Assemblyman Schimminger will need to conduct what will be a year long investigation into the goings ons at these clubs. To get an accurate depiction of varying acts throughout NYS, he will need to hit every club in New York.

He will be provided with an Assembly credit card, and $10,000 in singles to conduct his investigation.

pirate's code said...


Hearing date: Any Friday night.
Hearing time: Oh, 1 a.m. or so.
Hearing place: Rick's Tally-Ho.

I suppose permits for dancers would then lead to safety standards for pole installation. Maybe a staff of G-string inspectors. (Now there is a patronage job worth fighting for.)

Politics aside, this is just too funny. You'd like to laugh it off as "only in New York," but why do I have this sneaking suspicion that we are already behind California and Nevada?

Anonymous said...

Schimmiger is a bum, always has been. He has been in office for 100 years and has done absolutely nothing for all 100. Come on people, can't we find someone - even an 18 year old high school graduated to run against him??? I'm sure they would do a better job. Any truth to the rumor Baby Joe wants to get in the ring with the bum???